Cancer II

Writings of the lonely...

misery is what i feel...

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This week....
Cancer II
I am writing because I am feeling crappy and I don't want to. Every time I like someone, I get clingy. I can't do that. I don't want to screw this up before it even starts. I haven't heard from Joaquin in about 3 days. I haven't seen him online at all. More than likely he ended up going to his friends cottage. He originally said he was going to stay in the city but I am glad if he went away. I need this distance to pull myself together. I start thinking stupid thoughts. I automatically assume he doesn't want anything to do with me, that he will cancel Saturday. But in all reality, I have to think of the good things he has said during our conversations. When I said that it had been a while since I had a connection like this with someone, he said he agreed, same with him. He also said he was excited for Saturday. So, I need to remember those words. I am the one that starts thinking all this negative stuff and it gets to me. I need to be happy. I am getting my teeth this week, my little brother is home and I have this fundraiser on Saturday, in which I am meeting Joaquin for the first time. I also found out that Ray and Betty are going and who knows, maybe Andrew will go too. My family and friends together and me, with a date! Me? I think they are right when they say, if you think positive, your life will be positive. If you think negatively, negative will come. I hated living in the negative. It was the worst thing ever. All I have been is positive after everything I have been through and things seem to be going my way. I almost died, I've been given a second chance at life and I want to live it to the fullest. The positive is working for me and I want it to stay that way.
I went to the Zoo on Friday and because I am a member, we got early admission to see the Pandas, Er Shun and Da Mao. They are amazing animals. I was worried about my photo skills but I did really well. My eye is still there just I can't get as close to some subjects as I want. I am almost hoping to get my income tax this year so I can get my zoom lense. That would help me with a lot of my issues with my photography. I hope I can get some good shots with everyone going to the fundraiser. I'm excited to see Cheryl and everyone. Eek!! Okay I am excited again.
I think I am just going to go lay in bed and listen to tunes, keep myself occupied.


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