It has been a very long time since I've written anything here. I think I'm going to try again. I'm going to start with my recent illness.
Last year I was in a lot of pain. I was born with a disease called Emeliogenisis Imperfecta. It basically means I was born with no enamel on my teeth. Growing up I was always at dentists. One use to actually smack me if I cried. Crazy, right? I'm actually terrified of dentists now and for good reason. My teeth were always brown, crumbling. I always got white caps but they kept falling out, so eventually I gave up and stopped getting them put back in. So last year I was in a lot of pain. Infections in my teeth kept coming back. I was surviving on Tylenol 3s and they started to not work, so I would take the T3s and Advil together, then I was prescribed Perks. I finally went to a dentist. Decided to get all my teeth out, get 2 implants, then dentures. I saw a dental surgeon and had surgery planned.
One night I get these real bad stomach pains while I'm at work and I go home, then head to the ER. They tell me I had a bladder infection, yet I had no other symptoms and they send me home with antibiotics. 2 days later, after work, I go to sleep. I awake a few hours later and I am freezing. I can't get warm and I'm kind of gasping for breath. After trying for 10 minutes, I still couldn't get my breathing regulated and I wake my mom and get her to call 911. A few minutes later, roughly 5 paramedics show up at my house. They start asking me a million and one questions. Well supposedly I had a dangerously high fever of 40 degrees, which is enough to throw adults into seizures. They get me on a stretcher and give me some oxygen. By the time I get to the hospital my breathing was back to normal. They get me in a room and do blood tests and all that lovely stuff. They tell me they want to keep me the night. After a few hours, I'm put in a room. I am exhausted and my mom tells me to sleep. I doze off and wake up not being able to breathe again. I call my nurse and start freaking out. They give me oxygen and I can hear them talking saying if they can't regulate my breathing then they would have to intebate me. A respiratory therapist comes in and gives me a nebulizor mask, to help open up my lungs. After that, I truly remember nothing. Supposedly they had to intebate me and then they sent me to St.Mikes Hsp where I was kept in a medically induced coma for roughly 4 weeks. My body went septic, meaning there was an infection in my blood stream. I was riddled with high fever and infection. My organs started failing, my kidneys and liver. They did dialysis on my kidneys. They told my dad they may want to start planning my funeral. I had tubes everywhere, even coming out of my neck. They were getting ready to prep me for a trach in my neck but a more critical patient came in. Two days later I was out of the ICU.
That whole time I hallucinated. I thought the nurses and doctors were trying to kill me, Matrix style! Lol I also thought they were partying, getting drunk and having orgies after hours, in hospital. I also thought many family members died and thought my dads trailer burned down and that they blamed me. I can recollect all my hallucinations very vividly. But I do have some lucid recollections and one was the day of the Eaton Center shooting. I remember all the nurses complaining about how hard it was going to be to get home. Later I found out that they were calling a code Orange all day, which means no one can enter or leave the hospital.
When I woke up I was sent to Finch Site Hsp. I also couldn't move my arms or legs. This is called ICU Neuropathy. It's caused by the steroids they use to keep you in a coma. 1/3rd of patients, it happens too. So basically, I've had to learn to do everything again, walk, write, feed myself, go to the bathroom, everything. You have no dignity after that. I was in diapers for months. People had to wash me, clean me, feed me, wipe my ass. Did I say most of these nurses were like 25 years old. At first it took 5 nurses to change me. They needed them because I couldn't turn over or help myself. I remember every tube coming out. Breathing tube, feeding tube, catheter, rectal tube, gallbladder tube, pick line. I had it all.
They realised at some point that it was my teeth that caused my sepsis. So while I was there, they took out all my teeth.
I was in the Finch Site Hsp for roughly 7 months. I got to know all the nurses on the 6th floor. I consider some of them my friends. I was there for Christmas. I got a lot of pictures.
It was very hard being in there. I didn't have a lot of visitors. The same couple people always came. My mom, my dad and step mom and my best friend Shawna.
Shawna was there through everything. I was told she was by my side through everything. She would read the paper to me while I was in the coma, telling me how we were going to go to Niagara and do all these cool things. I don't know how I lucked out with her. She did everything for me. She brushed my hair, washed it, cut it. Did my nails, shaved my face, scrubbed my feet. She made my horrible situation into the best experience I could have while being trapped in my bed for months. No one seemed to understand but she did. Now when I see 'friends' they tell me how sorry they were that they couldn't find one day out of my 8 month hospital stay, to see me. It's awkward but they nice person I am, I say it's alright, I understand.
I don't understand. I don't understand how my so called friends didn't care enough to find a couple hours out of their mundane lives to visit me. No one really understands what I went through. People don't realize that they take the littlest things for granted. Like an itch. I couldn't move my arms to scratch one. I couldn't roll over unto my side. I couldn't lift my arms to get a drink or change the channel. I watched the food network for at least 2 months straight.
Now that I'm home. I have a brace on my right foot because I have no nerve activity in that foot and I can't control it, so it drops down constantly. I still have no real feeling in either foot. My right hand still doesn't work right. I can't make a fist and it's always cold. I have no balance. I walk with a walker outside of the house and in the house I look like a baby giraffe learning to walk. Lol
Good news. I lost almost 90lbs in hospital. I've actually started dating. I've never ever dated. I met Patrick when I was 15 and him 12 and we spent many years connected by the hip. I thought we were soul mates. Thought wrong but that's another story.
I've had my first real kiss and I'm actually enjoying dating, no matter how frustrating and scarey. I've lived through a lot, this is no biggie!
Well I'm leaving this here. Boy that was a lot. I have physio tomorrow and groceries Friday. I'll update again real soon.
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